Be Happy and Smile
by Tsukaima Kyra
Summary: I have always been emotionless. At least, that's what I have been told. I've kept up this facade for as long as I could remember. But when he came, all the effort I put in over the years is wasted. Because when he is around, even just a tiny spark of emotion comes out. It's only a matter of time till my walls finally crumble down to dust. And I fear for that time to come..
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is my first multi-chap here on the KnB Fandom! I'm so happy to be able to finish this chapter! I was originally gonna post this later but I couldn't wait. Since I feel really happy, I'm posting this now. I guess I could call this a Birthday gift to me for finishing this is in an hour and a half.**

**Warning: There may be some wrong grammar and misspellings. And an OC Kuroko.**

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**Prologue**

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Lying- its a part of human nature and a big part of myself. Well, at least I consider it is.

Is it so weird to not know your own personality? Or not to know what you are truly feeling? I sometimes even wonder if I am still truly human.

'Hah . . . I think I've read too much Fiction books.'

Sometimes, I find myself doing the most random things at night. Like once, I found myself crying over something that I have long since forgotten.

Once in a while I lie to my parents about some things. Nothing major really, just about if I am already full or at what time I have slept.

Sometimes I get caught here and there but mostly I never get caught. Even after that I don't really feel guilty, just a tug in my heart.

I mostly ponder about it at night sometime when I get in _that_ mood.

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In a plain shirt and boxers, I snuggle into my baby blue and red checkered comforters seeking for some kind of warmth. I started to listen to the music coming from my silver Laptop that was starting to fade. I guess the battery needs to be charged.

Too tired to stand up from my comfortable position. I laid there in complete silence.

I started to look back at everything I have done in my whole fifteen years of my life, or at least to the memories or things that I can still remember. That was one of my problems, I can't remember a lot of things from my past.

It's aready around 2 or 3 am in the morning and I was listening to the silent night with my eyes closed. Lost in the darkness known as my mind.

I don't really like the silence when I am like this, my mind can be a scary place for me. I think of things that I don't want to think about and I feel . . . Empty.

I'm not really sure why. But every time I'm like this I get this heavy feeling in my chest. Most of the time it's tolerable but when it get unbearable I have trouble breathing.

'I am useless, a burden . . '

My jaw clenched as I cursed silently into the night.

I need to do something, anything to get these thoughts out of my head. But I know I can't, I need to sleep. It's almost dawn, the sun will come out any minute now.

'A-am... Am I really a b-burden..?'

That night, I cried myself to sleep.

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_At that time, I realized that I have been caught in my own web of deceit. And once I have started it, there is no more turning back . ._

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**A/N: That's a wrap!**

**I hope I did okay and conveyed everything I wanted to show. This was originally an essay of mine. But when I re-read my essay I thought, 'Hey! This could be used as something for a story!' So after that I edited it and as the weeks gone by I was able to get an idea of how the story will go. **

**Although, I'm still having trouble with the flow. **

**AHAHA-**

**Updates on this one will be irregular but I'll do my best in getting them out as soon as I can. **

**Anyway~ Please review and tell me what you think. Flames are accepted!**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: HEYYA~ I finally found the time to update this! I was suppose to around September 11nth but I've been busy these past few weeks, so I wasn't able to. I hope the length of this chappie compensate for it..**

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**Chapter 1**

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"Oi, Kuroko. You okay?" Kagami-kun asked me as I sat on my seat.

"Yes. I am alright. " But in truth I wasn't. Last night was one of those sleepless nights. I guess I cried too much last night about something that I can't remember anymore.

I inwardly sighed, even though this wasn't something out of the norm. And I have felt something even worse than this, something still doesn't feel right.

I feel like an in coming headache is coming. Or maybe something bad will happen. .?

That aside, is it really that noticeable that even the infamous dense Bakagami noticed?

I just put on my same old emotionless facade as I retreated back to my seat.

"Kuroko, are you sure?"

His face laced with worry that I felt bad to even lie to him. But I have no choice. And it's like it won't make a difference anyway.

"Yes. I probably feel tired from training last Saturday." It wasn't exactly a lie but it wasn't exactly the truth either. But it's better than nothing..

It seemed like he didn't believe me, though. But before he can question me any further the bell rings.

"Okay class, go back to your seats. Let's start class . . ."

I was saved from being questioned, huh? How convenient..

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Hmm... Why do I feel so sluggish today..? I don't even feel like moving, I just want to go back home and crawl into my warm bed and get some more sleep. Eh... That sounds like a goo-

"Kuroko! Stop lazing around or your training menu will be tripled!"

I flinched at the tone of voice the coach used as I tried my best to focus into training.

But no matter how hard I tried, my mind will always go somewhere else. Or to be exact, my mind is clouded by useless thoughts but only one stood out amongst them.

'Stop being a burden to everyone around you..'

The coach must have noticed me not feeling well since she asked me to go to the nurses office and rest. I sighed, I nodded at her as I discreetly left the gym to go to the nearby faucets before heading to the clinic.

Truth to be told, I was thankful she let me have some fresh air. I actually needed it.

I breathed in deeply as I turned on the faucet as the water ran down. I splashed some on my face then let my head hung under the running water.

The possibility of me breaking down in front of everyone was highly unlikely. But in the state I am in now, it was possible.

I sighed as my left temple throbbed. Why out of all the times this has to come out, it has to be now..?

"Oi! Kuroko!"

I slightly huffed in frustration as I turned to face the one whom called me. I just wanted some peace and quiet. I didn't want him to see me in this state.

"Kagami-kun." I acknowledged him as I dried my hair using the towel around my shoulders. He bend over, his hands on his knees as he panted.

"I've been looking all over for you! I went to the clinic but you weren't there! So this is where you have been the whole time, huh?" I stayed quiet as I let him catch his breath. He was panting heavily and drenched in sweat.

Why was he looking for me anyway?

When he finally regained his normal breathing, he stood up straight and looked at me in the eye. His eyebrows were furrowed and a frown tugged on his face as he scratched the back of his neck. Looking at me in a sort of calculative look.

"Are you sure you're okay, Kuroko? I got worried so I told coach about it before practice started. She said if she thinks or sees something wrong in your performance she'll let you rest. Not only that, I noticed you were out of it since this morning.."

Wait. He what...?

My eyes widened. So he noticed my actions the whole time? Not only that, I actually made him worried...

A frown wormed itself onto my face, I didn't mean to make him worried. On top of that, he even got to convince coach to let me rest if she found anything suspicious...

"Im sorry for making you worried." I bowed down deeply as I saw some droplets of water dripping from my still damp hair to the ground.

"Please go back to practice Kagami-kun. I shall go to the Nurses office now, so please excuse me."

I stood upright, I turned my back on him and headed to the direction of the Clinic. I haven't even took a couple of steps away from him when he suddenly pulled me back

"I'll come with you." He insisted, but I refused. "Go back to practice, Kagami-kun. I will be alright so there is no need for you to accompany me. Thank you for the offer though."

I tried to shake of his hand from my shoulder as I bit my lower lip. But his grip on my shoulder tightened. When he suddenly done that I felt a spark, I wonder if he felt that too . .

I mentally scolded myself, now is not the time for this.

"Kaga-"

"Please let me come with you! I promise I wouldn't do anything that will burden you!" He looked at me with determination. I sighed, it's not that I didn't want to... It was the total opposite, actually. I didn't want to trouble him.

I tugged my arm out of his grasp as I turned to the direction of the infirmary. "Do as you please, Kagami-kun," I muttered under my breath. I heard him breath out a sigh of relief.

I glanced at him and saw a grin filled with happiness lit his face. I felt my heart skip a beat and butterflies in my stomach.

My eyes lowered to his lips. They were chapped but looked so firm. I wonder what it felt like to kiss him . .

I felt my cheeks became hot as I turned away from Kagami-kun and briskly walked faster to the Nurse's office.

No, I mentally shook my head, stay focus Tetsuya. You don't have the time for this, and that is so wrong in so many ways.

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_Control, Tetsuya, control your feelings._


End file.
